Traps of our psyche – when OCD is our friend, and when it is our enemy.
Traps of our psyche – the other day nothing worked for me. Not only that day, but for quite a long time. It was just that day that all this “I can’t do it” and “I don’t have time to do anything” accumulated and became the last straw. And I realized – I urgently need to do something that works. I looked around and realized that I hadn’t sorted out the drawers in the kitchen for a long time (and it already smelled), I hadn’t sorted out the trash in the trunk of my car for a long time, and the dishes have been standing unwashed for two days. I can definitely handle all this, I thought and got down to business!
I entered this work activity with a decent level of anxiety. Anxiety is a normal reaction of our psyche to those situations where everything is blurred (deadlines, boundaries, volume of the task) or where there is no control (confidence that you can cope). In such stories, it is very important to regain clarity and control – this is what helps to calm anxiety down.
Traps of our psyche – when compulsive actions are friends
That is why I made a conscious choice between something that had been impossible for a long time (I was writing my master’s thesis, for which the deadlines were already looming) and something that I was sure of – I could definitely handle it! Agree that washing dishes and sorting out the trunk, freeing it from junk, are tasks that are clear how to handle, clear how much time it will take, and most importantly – relying on previous experience, when it worked, you could start doing it without any resistance.
And here is the most important thing to know about our psyche – it doesn’t care what exactly you have succeeded in. To believe in yourself, it is enough to start with the simplest. And then, having already received this positive experience, you can say to yourself – look, you have succeeded, you are great, you have coped. And after that you can already say something else – you have succeeded in this and this, let’s now try to do something else, which you can also succeed in.
I’ll tell you that after the dishes are washed, the kitchen is tidy, and the trunk is tidy, the diploma goes like clockwork! And this is always the case when we encounter resistance to doing something out of anxiety that we won’t cope. To calm this anxiety, you need to first do what you can cope with, what’s easier, and then move on to what’s more difficult. And let me remind you that compulsive actions are any of our actions aimed at relieving anxiety.
Traps of our psyche – when compulsive actions are the enemy
But at the same time, you can clean the kitchen, wash the dishes and tidy up the trunk, essentially doing all the same things as described above, but this will no longer be help and self-support. This will be an element of OCD, which often not only does not relieve anxiety, but sometimes even increases it.
What is the difference between the first case and the second? If you reread this article again – you will find there the word “consciously” (or I would say “consciously”), and this one word changes the whole picture.
When you decide to wash the dishes (for example) instead of writing your thesis, you understand the following:
- First, you understand what exactly is causing the anxiety. The anxiety is in your awareness. And when what is causing you anxiety is conscious, then you are in control. You are in control of the anxiety, not the anxiety in control of you.
- Secondly, when anxiety is under your control (in the zone of awareness), you can find an effective way to reduce it or even remove the anxious state. You need to find an action that will help you cope with anxiety, add confidence to you, and become a bridge between “I can’t cope” and “I have coped”.
Therefore, it is important to remember that as soon as you feel anxiety inside, try not to close your eyes to it, escaping into uncontrollable and unconscious compulsive actions. Instead, ask yourself – what is my anxiety about now? Look anxiety in the eye. And support yourself with what you are good at and confident in! Sometimes washing dishes or fertilizing a houseplant, or wiping dust – seem like insignificant actions to us (well, it will somehow help me in big things), but the psyche does not care – it focuses not on the scale of the task, but on “it worked out” and “it didn’t work out”. Train your psyche to what you can do. And good luck to you in all your endeavors and keep anxiety under control, and not vice versa!
And if you are familiar with the topic of resistance and do not know how to start doing something and move forward, I recommend reading the article “What to do if you are stuck at some stage in life?”
