Subpersonalities – how are we structured internally?
Everything depends on how we are structured internally. Of course, our childhood and current circumstances directly influence us. But beyond external factors, there are also internal ones. Internal factors almost always carry the greatest weight, the most significant significance. But what is hidden within us that so influences us, our choices and decisions, our lives?
Subpersonalities – how do they work?
When we’re about to do something, form an opinion about someone, or think about something, we always seem to consult something within ourselves. What we consult serves as a reference point. This reference point, in my understanding, is an internal coordinate system consisting of many of our subpersonalities. A subpersonality is a certain self that appears in our perception. When I do something, I become something. When I think something about someone, I become something.
Every time, it’s like I’m checking in with myself. If I don’t lend money to a friend, even if I have it, am I being greedy? And if I’m being greedy to myself, is that good or bad? Or when I forbid my child from playing games on her smartphone for too long, what am I? When I forbid things, am I a bad mother? Am I allowed to be a bad mother? And when I’m afraid to start a new business, am I afraid of being a failure in my own eyes? Is being a failure good or bad?
All these checks can be merciless. This is because some of our subpersonalities reside in different zones of our consciousness. Forbidden and permitted. In the red zone and in the green. Depending on which zone the subpersonality you identify when you’re about to do something is in, you’ll do it or not. If you’re not allowed to be greedy in your own eyes, you’ll lend money to a friend, even if you don’t want to. If you’re not allowed to be a bad mother, you’ll allow your child to spend as much time on their phone as they want. Simply because you’re not allowed to be a bad mother in your own eyes.
So what should we all do about this? I certainly recommend seeing a therapist to sort out your subpersonalities. But what’s important to understand right now? It’s important to cultivate the same subpersonalities that helped those in the red zone move into the green zone. Who can help you allow yourself to be a “bad” mom sometimes? Who inside will tell you you’re not greedy? I talk about all this in detail in my video, “Subpersonalities – 22 Minutes That Will Explain Everything About Our Inner World.”
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And, of course, I invite you to my therapy to find answers to all your questions about how your inner world works:
