{"id":101167051,"date":"2026-05-19T13:40:50","date_gmt":"2026-05-19T11:40:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/natashakohan.com\/imposter-syndrome-in-emigration-when-youre-a-nobody-in-a-new-country\/"},"modified":"2026-05-19T14:56:35","modified_gmt":"2026-05-19T12:56:35","slug":"imposter-syndrome-in-emigration-when-youre-a-nobody-in-a-new-country","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/natashakohan.com\/en\/imposter-syndrome-in-emigration-when-youre-a-nobody-in-a-new-country\/","title":{"rendered":"Imposter syndrome in emigration – when you’re a nobody in a new country"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“At home I was someone. Here I am nobody.”
This phrase is one of the most common ones I hear from people who have left. A successful lawyer who can’t explain her specialization to a local employer here. An entrepreneur with 15 years of experience who feels incompetent because she doesn’t understand the local system. A manager who managed a team of twenty people back home can’t write a CV in English here.
This isn’t weakness. This isn’t “It’s my own fault I left.” This is impostor syndrome, exacerbated by emigration to the point where a person no longer recognizes themselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is impostor syndrome \u2013 in brief<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Imposter syndrome is a persistent feeling that you don’t deserve your place. That your successes are due to chance, luck, or the mistakes of others. And that failure is only a matter of time.
Psychologists Pauline Klens and Suzanne Imes first described this phenomenon back in 1978, and since then, research has consistently shown the same thing: impostor syndrome affects people all over the world, in all fields, regardless of their level of success. Moreover, the more successful a person is, the more often they feel like an impostor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there is one situation that exacerbates this syndrome to the extreme: emigration. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"psychologist<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Why Emigration Turns On Imposter Syndrome in Full<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Imagine: everything that affirmed your value has disappeared in a matter of months. The language you used to think freely and joke no longer works. The professional reputation you built over years is unknown and unnecessary here. The social connections that gave you a sense of “I belong” are left behind in another country. Even small things\u2014how to navigate the city, where to buy things, an understanding of “how things are done here”\u2014are gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And suddenly it turns out that much of your self-confidence was based on this external confirmation. On the fact that you are known. That your competencies are clear. That you are in the right place.
In emigration, this place disappears. And with it, the sense of self.
In its place comes:
\u2014 “I don’t know or can do anything here.”
\u2014 “Everyone around me has adapted better, but I can’t.”
\u2014 “My education is worthless here.”
\u2014 “I’m too old to start from scratch.”
\u2014 “If I were smarter, I would have figured this out long ago.”
Sound familiar? <\/p>\n\n\n\u041d\u0430\u043f\u0438\u0441\u0430\u0442\u044c \u0432 WhatsApp<\/a>\n\n\n\n

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Three Faces of Imposter Syndrome in Exile<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The inner impostor in emigration doesn’t always look the same. Here are the three most common forms my clients present with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I was somebody \u2013 here I’m nobody.”
This is perhaps the most acute form. A person with a strong professional or social identity suddenly finds themselves in a situation where that identity means nothing to anyone.
Elena was the lead accountant at a large company. In Ukraine, this meant status, respect, and a clear sense of her value. In Poland, she couldn’t explain her qualifications to her employer due to the language barrier and differences in systems. Six months later, she told me, “I started to think that maybe I was never really a good specialist. I was just lucky.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s classic impostor syndrome. External circumstances have changed, but the brain has concluded from this that there’s an internal inferiority complex. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Everyone can handle it, but I can’t.”
Social media is a particular source of pain in emigration. You see other people’s successes \u2013 someone has already found a job in their field, someone learned the language in a year, someone opened a business in a new country.
And the idea arises that everything works out with everyone else, but not with me, which means it\u2019s my fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you don’t see everything. You don’t see their anxious nights. Their refusals that they don’t write about. Their tears in the bathroom. You compare your inner experience with someone else’s external picture and always lose in this comparison. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I have no right to complain\u2014I’m safe.”
This form is especially common among Ukrainians who fled the war. Imposter syndrome is accompanied by guilt: “I’m safe. I have a roof over my head. How can I say I’m not well? I’m not safe.” So the person denies themselves their own pain. They suppress it. They tell themselves, “Hang in there.” But the suppressed pain doesn’t go away\u2014it accumulates and manifests as anxiety, apathy, irritability, and insomnia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your pain is real\u2014no matter how “objectively difficult” you are right now. Suffering is not measured by a scale of “who is worse off.” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What impostor syndrome does to you every day<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Imposter syndrome isn’t just an unpleasant feeling. It actively interferes with your life: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  • Blocks action. “Why bother submitting a resume\u2014I won’t get hired anyway?” “Why bother meeting people\u2014I don’t have anything interesting to say anyway?” The person stops trying and then interprets inaction as further evidence of their inferiority. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • It takes away the joy of success. Even when something succeeds, the inner critic finds an explanation: luck, they didn’t notice, they’ll figure it out later. Success doesn’t accumulate, doesn’t build confidence, it immediately devalues \u200b\u200bitself. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • It’s exhausting. Constantly “keeping up a mask,” the fear of being exposed, checking yourself a hundred times before every step\u2014it’s a colossal drain on energy. A person gets tired of themselves. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • It destroys relationships. It’s hard to build intimacy when you’re stuck with the feeling “if they find out what I’m really like, they’ll go.” People either keep their distance or become overly dependent on approval. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
    <\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Where does impostor syndrome come from?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    To understand how to deal with it, it’s important to understand where it comes from. Imposter syndrome almost never arises out of nowhere. Most often, it stems from: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • Conditional love in childhood. “You’re loved when you’re good\/successful\/obedient.” The child understands that their value depends on their achievements or correct behavior. And then you grow up, and the childhood scenarios continue to live by this logic. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Devaluation. Parents who are criticized more than they are praised. Teachers who said, “You could do better.” A partner who undermined your confidence. It all leaves a mark. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • An environment where mistakes are not allowed. If mistakes equal danger (criticism, punishment, rejection), a person learns to avoid risks. And in emigration, risk is everywhere. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Perfectionism as a defense. “If I’m perfect, I won’t be found out.” Perfectionism and impostor syndrome almost always go hand in hand. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      In emigration, all these mechanisms do not disappear \u2013 they become more acute, because there is less external confirmation, and more demands on oneself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Is it possible to get rid of impostor syndrome?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

      The short answer is yes. But not with affirmations and lists of accomplishments. “Just remind yourself what you’ve accomplished” is advice that doesn’t work for impostor syndrome. Because the problem isn’t a lack of information about your successes. The problem is HOW your mind processes this information. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Imposter syndrome runs deeper than just thoughts. It’s rooted in beliefs formed long before emigration. Therefore, the real solution is psychotherapy, not self-help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

      What happens in therapy:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      • We explore the origins of the “I’m not enough” belief. Not to blame our parents or the past, but to understand the mechanism. To see that it’s a learned pattern, not the truth about ourselves. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • We’re working on our attitude toward ourselves. We’re learning to notice our achievements\u2014without devaluing them or exaggerating them. Just see them. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • We’re exploring perfectionism and the fear of failure. We’re exploring their function and whether there’s another way to stay safe. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • We reconnect with our own value\u2014not through external validation, but from within. This is the most lasting result. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
        <\/div>\n\n\n\n

        One little test<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

        Read these statements and note which ones resonate with you:
        – I’m afraid of being “found out”\u2014of being seen as less than I am. I give up.
        – I can’t accept praise\u2014I always find excuses like “lucky” and “not being noticed.”
        – I attribute successes to external circumstances, and failures to my own incompetence.
        – I constantly compare myself to others\u2014and always “lose.”
        – Before attempting something new, I spend a long time convincing myself that I “can’t handle it.”
        – Even when everything is going well, I expect “something is about to go wrong.”
        – I find it difficult to talk about my accomplishments\u2014it seems like bragging or a lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        If you checked three or more, impostor syndrome is actively affecting your life. This is reason enough to talk to a professional. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        A video that might help<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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